ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT THINGS TO DO IN THE SCRIPTURES- TO FORGIVE
Matthew 6:14,15
Introduction: This message is basically for Christians. But I want to speak a few moments on forgiveness of sin. One day a little more than 2000 years ago on the hillside overlooking the city of Jerusalem, there were three crosses. Two of the men on these crosses were there for true crimes. The one in the middle cross was dying for a false charge. The men on both sides needed something more than being taken off those crosses. They need forgiveness of sins. They needed that man on the middle to give it. Take your mind and think about the one of the seven sayings of Calvary. You could almost imagine hearing those words. Luke 23:34
“Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”
Here we hear those words of forgiveness for anyone who will take it. One of the men rebukes the other when he is mocking our Lord. Then he asks for forgiveness.
Luke 23:42
“And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.”
He could have sung this song.
Out of my bondage, sorrow, and night,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into Thy freedom, gladness, and light,
Jesus, I come to Thee;
Out of my sickness, into Thy health,
Out of my want and into Thy wealth,
Out of my sin and into Thyself,
Jesus, I come to Thee.
He is asking for forgiveness. This is the same forgiveness that Jesus has offered shortly before that time. Luke 23:43
“And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.”
This is the forgiveness that everyone needs. If you don’t have the forgiveness of sins from the Father that is obtained by the blood of Jesus Christ applied to your sins, then this message will not help you.
I want to deal with this subject of the forgiving fellow Christians. I want to read two additional passages of scripture that will be helpful in shedding light on this subject.
Galatians 6:1,2
“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”
Ephesians 4:30-32
“And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
In case you have forgotten, Christians are forgiven but not perfect. In this message I will not be dealing with the relationship with the Lord. But I will be dealing with the relationship with one another. This should be almost as strong as our relationship with the Father. We are children who have the same heavenly bloodline and should get along. But as it is true in the lives of our children, there are times of offense, problems and bickering amongst the brethren. This comes at times intentionally and at times it can be accidental. Which brings us to how heal our hurt is to forgive someone. One writer said that to err is human but to forgive is divine.
Let me give you a few quotes about forgiveness.
“He who cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” Corrie ten Boom
“Only one petition in the Lord's Prayer has any condition attached to it: it is the petition for forgiveness.” William Temple
“He who forgives ends the quarrel.” African Proverb
One of the reasons why this occurs is that we have not lost our carnal or old nature. Satan will use that old nature to stir up problems with each other. He loves disharmony and make things bigger than they are. Let me illustrate this with something simple: Have you ever had a cavity and felt with your tongue. It feels like a cavern instead of a cavity. Why? Two reasons come to mind. 1) Your tongue is made for tasting not touching; 2) The tongue distorts the truth of the matter because it is not being used properly.
Disharmony will occur in the church on occasion but it is always with Satan's seal of approval. The church is made up of individuals with different opinions, ideas, taste and desires. Sometimes this places us on a collision course with each other. All church functions and business should be done with this thought: "Why would Jesus do?” If we do all in this fashion, there would be fewer clashes, conflicts and no disharmony.
When we clash, we have conflict. When we have conflict, we have disharmony. When we have disharmony, we have given place to the devil. When we have the devil in the midst, we don't have the Lord's blessing. So how do we correct disharmony? Forgiving one another in the Biblical fashion. When we institute forgiveness, we are reflecting our Heavenly Father.
There have been those times when I was hurt or one of my family members was hurt by something that may have been said or done toward. Yes, it is a hurt that can be as strong as actual physical pain. I have reacted in sinful anger, which made my sin worse than that of the offender.
If there were anyone who can teach us about forgiveness, it would be our Lord Jesus. He had the ultimate pain and humiliation inflicted upon Him. When we get to heaven, it would be very interesting to see if any of those Roman soldiers got saved. I am sure that there will those who were in the crowd calling for His crucifixion that got saved after His resurrection. Today we want the Holy Spirit to impart to us those truths that we need to learn about forgiveness.
Sometimes we need to be reminded what true and total forgiveness is and what is not. First what it is.
Being aware of what someone has done, and still forgiving him or her.
It is a choice to keep no record of wrongs.
It is refusing to punish.
It is being merciful.
It is being graciousness.
It is an inner condition.
It is the absence of bitterness.
What it is not.
It is not approval of what they did.
It is not excusing what they did.
It is not justifying what they did.
It is not being blindness to what happened.
It is not simply forgetting.
It is not refusing to take the wrong seriously.
It is not pretending we are not hurt.
Let’s look at forgiveness from what the Bible plainly says about it in regardless of forgiveness of another. Then we are to determine that will be the direction that we will go.
I. PURPOSE OF FORGIVENESS
1. It is to clear away conflicts. Many times they are small, trivial, fleshly and full of pride. Song of Solomon 2:15
“Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes.”
B. It is to cleanse the conscience. Matthew 5:23,24
“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
What tells you that your brother has ought with thee? Your conscience would be what would do this through the Holy Spirit. It is important that you stay in tune with the Lord Jesus. I found this short excerpt that I thought put a great spin on this subject. “He that comes to worship his Maker filled with malice, and hatred, and envy, and at war with his brethren, is a hypocritical worshipper, and must meet with God's displeasure. God is not deceived; and he will not be mocked.”
Forgiveness cleanses the conscience from pride, pious looks, from being a playground for Satan, pain, and powerlessness. In this passage in Matthew chapter five the burden is placed on the offender instead of the offended. Pride keeps us from this confession that we offended that someone. To tell someone that you are sorry and really mean it takes the help of God.
What do you do if the person does not forgive you?
1. Remember that you did the right thing.
2. Pray for your friend
3. Don’t tell others what they refuse to do
4. Put it God’s hands
5. Be kind to that person
C. It is to chase away Satan. When we chose to forgive, we destroy his influence in our lives. Why happens when we don’t forgive. We forget that:
1. He loves unforgiveness.
2. He loves disharmony.
3. He loves conflict.
4. He loves clashes.
D. It is to complete the task ahead
A church in which forgiveness is not in place then many things will not be accomplished. What things are not accomplished?
1. Soul winning of people
2. Singing of praise
3. Soundness of preaching
4. Sweetness and success of prayer
II. POWER OF FORGIVENESS
A. It heals the fellowship, feelings, falls, failures, and friendship of believers. There is enough hurt in this world without letting forgiveness to come into the lives of Christians and heal those broken relationships.
B. It hurts Satan's plans. We will rid ourselves of disharmony and dissatisfaction among believers; disgruntle and disobedient members. If Satan is for something, then I’m against it. Satan does not want the world to see a church in which harmony is commonplace. He loves the world to see a church that is in total disarray. He loves to see families in total disarray.
C. It honors our Father. When the world sees true Biblical forgiveness in place, they see what the Father has brought into fruition.
III. PROCEDURE OF FORGIVENESS Matthew 18:15-17
“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”
There are three actions that must be taken in this procedure: First we are going to the offender privately; then if it fails, then go with someone else or plural and then only then should we go public that before the church.
A. Make sure your actions and attitudes are correct. If your attitude is wrong, then you are wrong. What attitude should we have? Paul said it right in Galatians. “In the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” What is meekness? It is a calm temper of mind, not easily provoked. Knowing most of us that is not most of us naturally. If we have any meekness in our lives, it had to be the Lord who gave it to us.
B. Come to the offended humbly. Remember you hurt this person. You may have hurt them deeply.
C. Don't rehash the offense with these words: "I was wrong, but". If you try to explain your actions and attitude, you just muddy the waters more. You are trying to justify your action. If the Lord convicted you of this deed, then there was no justification of action or attitude.
D. Ask for forgiveness and pray with that person. Thank the Lord for the opportunity of getting right with this person. Let this person know that you love him. Don’t expect the person to welcome you back in open arms. This may not happen at this time but now the ball is in their court. You have done the right thing. Harold Vaughan said that you should do the right time the every time until the right thing becomes the normal thing.
IV. PEACE OF FORGIVENESS
You'll have a clear conscience. You cannot underestimate the value of a clear conscience. It allows you to sleep better. You don’t have wonder whom is going to expose your unforgiving spirit. You have peace with God. That in itself is worth it all.
You'll have a commitment to mind Christ. This means you have not tried to buffet line your obedience to Christ’s commands. You have chosen obedience. Samuel told Saul this about obedience. 1st Samuel 15:22
“And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.”
You'll have the closeness reunited. There have been times in my life that I chose not to forgive or delay forgiveness. In those times, the chasm is wide and deeper than I was probably could ever bridge. David understood this principle when he penned these words.
Psalm 133:1
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
David knew by experience the bitterness occasioned by divisions in families. His sons did not forgive one another and death resulted because of this as one killed another and the other was killed.
You'll have Christ exalted again as He should. Christ needs to be exalted in our lives. This is so others may see that He is all that we say He is. When you are unforgiving, then you are basically saying that Jesus is not all that you try to make Him out to be.
V. PLACE OF FORGIVENESS
The best place for forgiveness is the CHURCH. I was thinking of an acquaintance whose church had been in conflict over the years before he came. They even went to court on some of the issues. The judge asked this question “Aren’t you supposed to get alone with each other and forgive each other?” I don’t recall their answer but his question should have been a wake up call for them.
Forgiveness at the church is one of the greatest testimonies a church could have. It ought to be our testimony that folks sure love one another here. What could happen if forgiving one another was a normal event in a church. I can think of one great result. It could lead to a revival like the church has never seen before this time.
This is the place where we should be at peace with one another and are willing to set aside our feelings and go on for the Lord.
Conclusion: You could be the key to the restoration to fellowship for someone today. If you have a problem with someone today, then swallow your pride and ask for your fellowship to be restored.
If you have a conflict with someone within the church and you take that conflict outside the realm of the church, then you may have given the enemy an occasion to blasphemy our Lord. By keeping the fellowship among the brethren as we should, we show the world that we handle conflict differently. It shows then that we are as different as we say we are.
I may not be the first to say this but I do want you to listen carefully. Forgiveness is not easy. If it were then everybody would be doing it. But as my friend Harold Vaughan has said many times in the years I have known him “Do the right thing every time until it becomes the normal thing.”
If you have someone that you have wronged that is here today, then during the invitation, slip quietly out of your seat and ask for that person’s forgiveness. If someone here has wronged you today, you ought to go to that person and tell him or her that you forgive him or her. Don’t make a show of it. If you do, then it is pride that causes you to do so. Do what is right. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in this as He said He would do.