How To Encourage Your Children

TEXT: Mark 10:13-16

INTRODUCTION:
A. Children in the same family are so different.
Born of the same parents, raised in the same home, fed the same food and yet no two children—including identical twins—are completely alike.

The biological, neurological, metabolic make up and the intellectual potential are different and unique for each child.

B. Family environment is different with each child.
1. First child – two members, Mother/Father.
2. With the second child – three members, Mother/Father & older child etc.
3. Dynamics change in the family, hopefully, as parents, we are not only older, but wiser. Most of our mistakes have been made on the oldest children.
4. We really need to work at discovering each child's uniqueness—for each one is different!

All these things are important concerning each child, but I must point out that the way we as parents meet their needs is to be carried out customised for the individual child. Not that rules, discipline or their upbringing is to be different, but that each is to be treated according to child's character. One child may have to be disciplined to receive instruction, where another only needs to be scolded and they are brought to tears of repentance.

Nonetheless, each of them and all of us, need encouragement.

Parents, grand-parents, teachers, friends and our home church need to enter into the encouragement of our wonderfully precious children who are on loan to us from God—they are His heritage and we MUST not forget this important point! (Psa. 127:3)

One way to bring encouragement to children is to realise that there are…
I. TOUCHES THAT ARE APPROPRIATE – Mark 10:13,16
13 – "And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them."

16 – "And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them."

A. Children need to know that they are important and loved!
1. Let them know they are a significant person
a. Never let them hear, "So and so was a mistake or an accident or not wanted."
b. Such words are so hurtful and discouraging. They convey to the child hopelessness.
2. The power of affirming touch is undeniable.
a. Children should be kissed, hugged and patted with encouraging words.
b. Children are more secure, obey better and more helpful when they know they are loved, wanted and appreciated.
B. Satan knows the power of an appropriate touch
1. That is why he distorts and perverts God's plan and impresses to use an inappropriate touch.
2. No greater damage can be done to the psyche, i.e. human soul than that of a child who has been abused, molester or beaten, raped or a victim of incest.
3. Only the Lord can help heal a child from these devastating memories.
4. But fact still remains—an affirming touch has immense value!
C. Jesus gives us the supreme example by holding and loving these children.
1. The exciting thing is that HE LOVES YOU TOO and wants to put His loving arms around you to encourage you today! 1Pet. 5:7 – "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
2. Some of Moses' departing words to Israel are found in Deut. 33. We read starting Vs. 26 – "There is none like unto the God of Jeshurun."
a. Jeshurun refers to Israel and means "upright one" and is a term of endearment.
b. He tells those he dearly loves, "The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms…"
c. He promises protection, safety, happiness, help, BUT NOT to everyone—only to "people saved by the LORD" (vs. 26-29).
3. The invitation to come under His arms is open to all.
a. In Matt. 11:28 Jesus said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." He promises, "I will redeem you with a stretched out arm…" (Ex. 6:6).
b. But when you come, you have to come as one of these little children.
In order to enter the kingdom, you must have childlike faith.
Another way to bring encouragement to children is to give…
II. WORDS THAT ARE AFFIRMING – Mk 10:16
16 – "And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them."

A. The Power of affirming words and touch is undeniable.
1. Encouraging words build up children men and women.
2. "I love you; You are very special; You are important; I am very proud of you; You are a blessing; I thank God for you!"
3. How we need to be more in tune with the importance of our words.
My wife Kathi never heard her Dad say, "I love you" until she was in her 50's.
It seems many men from his era of around WWII did not express themselves in that way to their children. Do you know what prompted him to say these precious words? Years of my wife saying to him, Dad, I love you. At first, his reply was, "Yeh, me too." Then came the day when he expressed those precious words on his own—"I love you!"

B. The things we say about our Lord are also vital for our children – Dt. 6:20-25
"And when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, 'What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD our God hath commanded you?' 21] Then thou shalt say unto thy son, 'We were Pharaoh's bondmen in Egypt; and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand: 22] And the LORD shewed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes: 23] And he brought us out from thence, that he might bring us in, to give us the land which he sware unto our fathers. 24] And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day. 25] And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the LORD our God, as he hath commanded us.'"

1. The situation presented here in these verses concretely illustrates the command God gave in verses 6-9 of Deuteronomy 6.
"And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7] And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8] And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9] And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."

2. Moses envisioned a home where the Word of God is discussed openly as a part of everyday life.
a. The moral and biblical education of the children was accomplished best NOT in a formal teaching period each day but when the parents, out of concern for their own lives as well as their children's, made God and His Word the natural topic of a conversation.
b. This teaching therefore might occur anywhere and anytime during the day.
c. Many of God's people did tie God's Word on themselves and to wrote Scripture in their houses. However, these commands emphasized the need for the continual teaching of the Law, no matter what!
3. Let's be clear, it is extremely difficult discuss the Word of God, not less teach and pass on the truths of God if you don't know God or His Word yourself!
4. Near the beginning of Deut. 6, Moses stressed the need of parents to "love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."
5. As he closes the chapter, Moses indicates the aspect of loving (thus obeying) God is for the parents to pass that same love for Him on to their children.
C. How does this apply to you and me?
§ We need to remind our children that we have been freed from the penalty of sin and have been bought us out its slave market.
§ We need to share with our children that God has miraculously delivered us from the power (bondage) of sin and future is to stand in His very presence.
§ Not only should we teach them that God continues to give us His promises that will never fail and His continual presence— "I will never leave you nor forsake you," but also they should see our trust and walk in our daily living.
§ We need to remind our children that our Lord tells us that if we put Him first in our lives and obey His Word, He will meet our daily needs, making provision for us and we will prosper in our relationship with Him.

We are to pass these things on to our children with words that are affirming.

Reminding our children that the same God that has been faithful to us will be faithful to them as they obey His Word.

We are to bring encouragement to our children by…
III. VALUing THAT which IS AUTHENTIC – Mark 10:14,16
14 – "But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."

16 – "And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them."

A. The fact that the Lord Jesus Christ died for you should reveal that you are valuable; the Word of God is filled with this message.
B. And it is also a fact that our Lord wants to be valuable to us as He proclaimed in Deut. 6:4-9 – "…The LORD our God is one LORD…thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."
1. The statement in 6:4 verse "…The LORD our God is one LORD…" has been called the Shema, from the first Hebrew word in this verse translated "Hear."
a. The statement in this verse is the basic confession of faith.
b. The verse means that Jehovah is totally unique—He alone is God.
2. The Israelites could therefore have a sense of security that was totally impossible for their polytheistic neighbours.
C. We should communicate love and appreciation to our children AND we should make it a practice to frequently show it in our homes.
1. A hug, kiss, pat on the shoulder, kind words or notes, playing with them, listening to themn tell the child they are thought of and loved.
2. Allow your children to fail, to make mistakes, to have faults without jumping all over them.
3. God makes His expectations for us very clear in His Word. He does not leave us in the dark concerning His desires for us.
a. In a similar fashion we should deal with our children.
b. Not knowing what the parents expect from them can be frustrating and must be a hot bed of trouble.
4. One thing that is really important is for us to admit our mistakes and ask for forgiveness when we have wronged them or failed them.
IV. We WIll have a Future THAT IS AWESOME – Mark 10:14
14 – "But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, 'Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.'"

A. We live in a no deposit; no return, throwaway society, but you and your children are not one of them.
1. Suppose you had a car and knew that it was the only automobile you would ever have. Would you take better care of it? Of course you would.
2. You are the only you! Your soul exists not only for today and tomorrow but also for eternity!
B. You and I are precious to our Lord Jesus Christ, so valued that He shed His precious blood for you that you might spend an eternity with Him in heaven.
1 Peter 1:18-19 – "Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; 19] But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot."

1. Because of ignorance, intellectual & spiritual blindness, or other factors we do not always recognise value.
a. But when we find out the price paid for something, we know how valuable it is.
b. We need to remember the immeasurable price God paid for our soul!
2. Value is determined by the price paid, not necessary by material worth.
a. The human body's material value is very cheap; nevertheless, Christ gave His life so we could have life.
b. Therefore EACH INDIVIDUAL'S SOUL HAS AN ACQUIRED VALUE —NOT BECAUSE OF ANY INHERENT ACTUAL WORTH, BUT FOR THE PRICE THAT WAS PAID FOR IT!
3. It's astounding when God looked at us He saw our prospective worth as a redeemed individual, and decided to sacrifice His Son for your redemption.
4. How can we be aware of the price tag and not value ourselves?
C. You are a valuable person to God and we need to remind our children how valuable they are to us and to our Lord.
1. It was God himself who designed and created your soul.
2. We are not only created by God but we are created in "HIS IMAGE." WOW!!!
I am valuable because of what I am, "MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD."
Boy, that sure beats the label "made in Pakistan" or "made in Taiwan."
3. Scarcity and uniqueness makes something valuable. When something is in short supply, it has high value. You and I are "ORIGINALS."
a. We are unique—one of a kind person. God broke the mould after He made you and me.
b. So you can say about yourself:
"There has never been another like me in the history of mankind, nor will there ever be. I am an original, unique and one of a kind. Really somebody! ! !"
4. When you and your children accept Christ as your personal Saviour, you can be assured of a future that is awesome.
CONCLUSION
Here are four vital things that you can give to your children to encourage them.
1. Touches that are Appropriate.
2. Words that are Affirming
3. Value that is Authentic
4. Future that is Awesome
If you are not doing these things will make a decision today to start applying these principles in the raising of your children?
1. It is never to late or early, for that matter, to start doing these vital things.
2. When they see the Love of God in your lives, God will use it to touch them also.
3. When they see you love your church, they will also have a greater love for the church.
4. When they see you giving, serving, ministering, it will affect them the rest of their lives.
5. I can assure you in two ways these things work: 1] Because they are from the words of God, it is true; 2] I have put them to the test in my own life and have been blessed.

Bob Zemeski